


only lies hold us together

by maelerie



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, Internal Conflict, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 13:32:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5418920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maelerie/pseuds/maelerie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Antonio never had any doubts, until the new kid enrolled in his class. He loves Belle, he is sure, but there are different kinds of love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	only lies hold us together

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt ['fake relationship (AU)'] I received on Tumblr.

He hated himself.

For lying to her and for lying to himself the most. She did not deserve this and he definitely did not deserve her. But she loved him and he had made himself believe that he felt the same way, that he loved her too. And yet, he did not love her, not in _that_ way, but the opposite was all he ever told her.

He was looking at her now, guilt filling his insides as she smiled at him so sweetly, so fully, and he knew he could not do this to her any longer. The sooner he broke things off with her, the less hurt she would feel.  
And yet, he couldn't bring himself to open his mouth.

_Coward._

He was so afraid. So afraid of what he would have to answer when asked for a reason to their breakup. What would she think? What would his parents and his friends think? What would _he_ think?

He had tried to convince himself that he was mistaken, that he could not possibly... No. No, he loved _her_ , he loved Belle. They had been sweethearts since they were fifteen, and the student that had enrolled in their class a year after that was... just a friend. Antonio had told himself this, over and over. The new student, Romano Vargas... he was his friend, just that, a friend.

"Antonio?"

Annabelle's voice brought him back to earth and he hmm'ed in response, trying to cover up the fact that he had not been listening to her.

"You were spacing out again, weren't you?"

She knew him too well though. "Heh," he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, _mi Bella_ , I was just thinking."

"About?" she hummed.

Antonio swallowed, trying to find a convincible lie. "Oh, just about that math test we have next week. I'm afraid I don't understand the theory all too well."

Annabelle laughed silently. "I can help you study if you want?"

Antonio smiled back at her, despite the fact that he now hated himself even more for lying to her, _again_. "That would be very helpful, _gracias_."

She laid her head on his shoulder and enveloped her hand with his own. "I could come over to your place this Saturday?"

Out of pure instinct Antonio tucked her head in between his chin and his shoulder. "My parents aren't home then. I don't think they will allow me having you over without them to supervise us."

"Then we don't tell them."

He could feel the grin on her face before she sat up straight and showed it to him. "You could say one of your friends is coming over," she said, "but it will be me instead."

"If I told them a friend was coming over then they would wait for that friend to arrive before leaving," Antonio reasoned. "You know how strict my parents are."

"Ugh," Annabelle let her head fall back down on his shoulder. "I have nothing against devote Catholics and all, but is it really such a sin to have your girlfriend of two years over for a day?"

_Two years_. Had it really been that long already?

"I mean, it's not that we do anything bad, right?" Annabelle continued. "We haven't even slept together. In this day and age I believe that is considered to be quite a feat."

If he listened very carefully, he could hear Belle resented him a bit for that. He had already told her 'no' when things got too heated. He told her every time they got into a... _situation_ , that his parents had taught him intercourse before marriage was simply not done, and he shared their views, while in reality he was afraid that if it would ever come to that, he would not be able to pretend any longer.

"Yeah..." was all he could mumble in response.

_I really should tell her... Now, just— Just tell her now._

"Hey Romano!"

Annabelle's sudden exclamation startled Antonio, and as he saw the person she was waving to approach, he could feel the cold sweat on his brow and the silent prayers of _no, no, oh no,..._ resounding in his head.

" _Ciao Bella_ ," the Italian student greeted.

He ignored Antonio, as was his custom. Antonio would pry for his attention at times when he felt particularly bold, but now he was glad that Romano didn't pay him any mind. One look in those caramel-coloured eyes and he would be blushing like a schoolgirl in heat, he knew it.

"Say Romano, could you do us a favour?" Annabelle asked.

Antonio had a bad feeling about this, but he didn't dare look up from the pebble near his shoe he was staring very intently at, let alone interrupt her.

"Well, I don't know if you know this, but Antonio's parents are rather strict when it comes to our relationship."

"Belle..." he tried to warn her, but she didn't hear him.

"So I was wondering if you could come over to his house on Saturday, reassure his parents that it's going to be you two roughhousing each other, or whatever it is boys do, and when they've left we switch places?"

She looked at Romano hopefully, but he didn't answer her. "It's just... Ah, well, it's been a while since we had a whole day to ourselves, and... But if you don't feel like it, it's fine, you know—"

"Okay," he said.

Belle blinked rapidly, but when his answer had sunk in she jumped to her feet and threw her arms around him in a quick hug.

"Thank you so much Romano! I owe you big time!"

"No you don't," he grumbled slightly, a blush fanning his cheeks when she released him. "You helped me with my English, remember? We can consider us even now."

Antonio looked on from the sideline as they talked. He wanted to argue against Belle's little scheme, but he could not think of a reason believable enough to discourage her.  
As Romano said his goodbyes to Belle, he scowled in Antonio's direction before turning on his heel, and marched back into the red-bricked school building behind them.

He did not know what he had done for Romano to look at him so. It made him dread this coming Saturday even more now.  
Belle kissed him out of his stupor and guided him back towards their classroom where the likes of Napoleon and Josephine could not grasp his attention any longer, his fingers drumming against the desk in growing agitation. 

\- - -

Saturday morning came without warning and far too quickly.

Antonio's parents were charmed by Romano's manners and intelligence and left their son to his care without worry. The moment Antonio's parents disappeared around the corner and he closed the front door, Romano spoke, and his words were like chards of ice stabbing through his heart.

"You're an utter asshole, you know that?"

Antonio's eyes went wide. " _Q— Qué_?"

"Tch. Don't play dumb with me, _bastardo_. You know what I'm talking about."

Antonio had no words. No, he really didn't know what he was talking about. Did he accidently say something wrong about Romano to a fellow classmate and was that why he was angry? Maybe he borrowed a pen from him once and forgot to give it back? Or maybe he really hated the idea of coming to his house?

What exactly was he accusing him of?

"You're playing with her heart, you know that, right? She deserves far better than a lying bastard like you."

_Oh._

Antonio tried to speak, but he couldn't help his stuttering. " W— Why do you think— I... I— I love her..." he said, but the words tasted bitter in his mouth.

"Not the way that she loves you," Romano's tone of voice did not invite any contradiction. "I see how you look at her, and then I see how you look at me."

No... No, he couldn't possibly have noticed...

Antonio opened his mouth to try and find an excuse but the Italian wouldn't let him. "Do not even try to say it isn't true. If you would have been less of an idiot, you could have been honest to Belle from the start, and you could've had the chance to date me instead."

Dumbfounded did not even summarize the way Antonio felt right now. How could this guy know about the struggles that had been choking him for years? How did he know he liked him, and that he played the part of pretender when he was with Belle?

"Close your mouth, dammit," Romano chided. "You look like a guppy fish at feeding time."

Antonio's mouth closed instantly.

"You think I haven't been through the same shit as you? Trust me, I know it's hard to come out and I know it's scary, but you feel so much better after it's done and dealt with. It's like ripping of a band aid. At first you hesitate and feel awkward, and then it pains you to hear what some people have to say, but after all of that you just feel fucking relieved."

He knew Romano was right. He knew it. Deep down he wished he had been less of a coward. He wished all of what was still to come was already far behind him.

"You have to tell her," Romano's eyes pierced his own. "Today."

As if on cue, the doorbell rang and when Antonio found the courage to open the door he was tackled in a warm hug by a girl with bouncing golden curls and a cat-like smile.

When he did not hug her back and she saw the determined, yet pained expression on his face, she couldn't help but ask worryingly, "What's wrong?"

He looked back at Romano who had crossed his arms over his chest. The Italian gave him a solid, curt nod and an encouraging smile, and Antonio's chest constricted, realising that this was it. This was the time to be honest to someone who had loved him unconditionally from the start. This was the time to stop pretending.

He drew in a deep breath and took a hold of his _girlfriend's_ hands. "Belle... I have to tell you something."


End file.
